According to The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, an upper limit problem is when “good fortune is followed by self-sabotage.”
Maybe you win $500 on a scratch ticket and then promptly find out your car needs work and it will cost just about the same.
Maybe you have a speech scheduled in front of a large audience and suddenly lose your voice the night before.
Or you have to take an important exam or go on a stressful interview and get sick that morning.
Using a fitness example, maybe you finally get back into your favorite jeans and start blowing off the gym and eating too many desserts. When things are going well, something happens to block the positivity and reverse it.
Is it really just a coincidence or is something else going on here?
When we experience success sometimes we are just not ‘ready’ for it.
Our minds need time to adjust to the new us, to expand our capacity for feeling worthy of receiving such joy.
A common example of this is the person who has been obese their whole life and manages to successfully lose a huge amount of weight but still sees themselves as “overweight.” Their brains need time to adjust to the change. People may treat you differently, maybe you start getting more attention and more stares and uncomfortable with that. Your unconscious is blocking you from your full potential. Most of us don’t even recognize this is happening.
When you are just about to shatter a ceiling and enter into a profound new territory you might feel the urge to mess it all up.
Take a breath, hang with the discomfort, and march on through the fear.
All of this is in your own head and I guarantee
These scary feelings that come along with stepping into a bigger space mean that your growing. This personal growth will result in a stronger, more resilient and more confident and capable you. Embrace it!
How do you know if you have an upper limit problem?
Warning Signs to Watch Out For:
- Excessive Worrying
- Blaming or criticizing
- Getting sick or hurt
- Getting into arguments
- Hiding significant feelings
- Not keeping agreements
- Not speaking significant truths to the relevant people
Once you begin to recognize that you may be having an upper limit problem, you can ask yourself some questions to help you get over your limiting beliefs:
- How much love, wealth and happiness do I want in my life?
- Am I willing to allow myself to feel good?
- Am I willing to allow myself to shine?
If you answered: 1) A Ton! 2) Yes and 3) Yes then ask yourself this final question:
Am I really willing to expand my capacity for receiving love, wealth, happiness and success in my life?
You might say “Yes, absolutely!” but your subconscious behavior says otherwise. Here are some strategies to help condition your mind and set you up for receiving all the success and amazing gifts life has to offer you.
First – mindset is everything.
The happiest people in the world have an abundance mindset. Unfortunately, most of us operate from a place of scarcity. What is the difference?
You can always have MORE of anything in life at any time – success, wealth, happiness, time, energy, charity, love and fun.
If you have an abundance mindset, you …
- Believe that age is just a number, it’s never too late to start anything.
- Believe that there is more than enough to go around for everyone.
- Practice gratitude for what you have
knowingthat doing so brings more of those things into your life (law of attraction).
- Feel at peace and do not worry about others.
- Feel that you are enough and you can fill your own cup (and know that you can always make room for feeling even better!)
- Believe in finding opportunities.
- Believe in reading every day.
- Seek out opportunities to learn.
- Have a To Do List and a To Be List.
- Talk About Ideas.
- Accept Responsibility.
- Give Credit to Others when it’s due / Celebrate successes of others too.
This type of mindset believes that there is a limited amount of success, wealth, happiness, time, energy, charity, love and fun. There isn’t enough to go around. If someone else has good fortune you can’t as well.
If you have a scarcity mindset, you …
- Are Driven by Impulse – I must do it now, or use it all up now because I may not ever get more.
- Have a Win/Lose Mentality – Either I am successful or the other person is. We can’t both be successful at the same time.
- Are Plagued by Fear, Anxiety, and Worry
- Are overly focused on risks
- Talk about other people
- Hoard information and data
- Are afraid of change
- Criticize and blame others
- Have a Victim Mentality
Second, it may sound silly, but come up with a personal mantra that you can recite in your mind whenever you start dipping into U.L.P. territory.
“Every day I expand my capacity to allow love, wealth, success and happiness into my life and I inspire others to do the same.”
Condition yourself to receive all that goodness!
And finally, write your “story.”
Set fantastically huge and inspiring goals and don’t stop until you reach them.
Write your story as if you have already arrived and
Visualize it and embrace how you feel in that moment when you reach that goal. Allow the applause and admiration to sink in. There’s a reason professional athletes are able to achieve such high performance – they visualize it happening first.
Embrace that there may be “haters” too and love
Those people are usually still operating from a scarcity mindset and see you as a threat to their lives. If you could do it, then they no longer have an excuse.
Think of all the good things that will come out of this achievement and how you can use it to inspire others, raise funds for a good cause, or turn it into a movement. You have that power within you.
Most of us can’t fathom it but think about all the people who were never supposed to become anything yet became important and changed history. You will only grow to the extent which your mind allows and accepts for you.
You might read this and think “yeah right,
This works on a much smaller scale too.
If you think “there is no way I’ll ever wear a bikini or a run a marathon or earn $1 million dollars”…we’ll then you never will.
Another great tip to get your mind to see your full potential is to surround yourself with people that have either already done what it is you want to do or who are on the same path as you.
Law of attraction again.
Go to events where these people are, join groups to which they belong and hang out online where they congregate. If you want to lose weight or get consistent with your workouts and the people you hang out with prefer happy hour and ordering lunch every day that might be a problem.
Join a group fitness class you enjoy and connect with the regulars. It’s great built-in accountability as well.
Peers are great, and so are mentors. Find someone who has done what you’re trying to do. The best mentors tend to be a couple of steps ahead of where you are now. They will inspire you and make you see how close you are to getting there too, and they aren’t so far ahead that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be in your shoes.
As much as getting to a healthy weight is about quality nutrition and exercise, it’s equally, if not more important to create a mindset of success.
Have you ever experienced Upper Limit Problem thinking? Leave me a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!
If you want to free yourself from diets and constantly sabotaging your weight loss goals, I can help!